


I'll walk out that door to see everything I wanted

by charons_boat



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - Angels & Demons, Angst and Fluff, Blood, CONDEMNING GOD, Choking to death, Cute boys, Empath, Established Relationship, Fallen Angels, Familiars, M/M, Minho Knows Too Much, Multi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Old Promises, Seer, Strangers to Lovers, court trials, cutting off wings, diamonds as stars, ends happy, happiness, mentions of multiples hells, minho is weird, probably inaccurate memory/representation of heaven, probably some religious blasphemy, religious abominations (jisung), satan is nice and god is not, several angels fall, the unholyfication of lee minho, uhm cute boys, washing ur boyfriend cause hes tired
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:02:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28818225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charons_boat/pseuds/charons_boat
Summary: You know what happens after you choke to death? Satan puts out a claim on your soul.ORHow Minho was brought to remember his past and came to find love in what (who) was supposed to be the purest incarnation of evil. Really, Jeongin is more evil than Chan and all he does is dress scandalously.
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Han Jisung | Han/Kim Seungmin, Lee Felix/Seo Changbin, Lee Minho | Lee Know/Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Kudos: 8





	1. Authorized personnel only

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lossit_bay](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lossit_bay/gifts).



> title from back door cause lossit said it was a fav. warning for minho choking to death. lots of crying later on. anguish. but also cute boys. enjoy?
> 
> sidenote: a rejected tag (for being too long)-- kind of the same person to not the same person to enemies to worried enemy and uncaring enemy to lovers

Everything is happening much too fast. One moment I'd been sitting at the dinner table with my family, showing off to my younger siblings by throwing things into the air and catching them in my mouth. They'd been delighted by it seeing as they were still young and were easily amused. There had been laughter and a steady stream of idle conversation. I've been busy with my new job recently, so it's been harder to make it to family dinners. But this one; this one I'd made it to, finally. It had taken a solid fifteen minutes to pry my seven- and nine-year-old siblings from my legs so we could sit down to eat. And I'd shown off, happy to just _be there_ for once as I entertained them. 

And then something went wrong. One of the grapes I'd been throwing went down wrong when I caught it, and I coughed lightly, thinking it'd come free. It didn't. I coughed again, and it only seemed to get worse. I could faintly hear the sounds of people panicking over the frantic thudding of my heart occupying my eardrums, pounding through my head like the bass drum had when I was still in color guard for my high school band. Everything loses color, and then taste and smell, and suddenly I can't feel anything. I can only hear the thumping of my heart, can faintly feel the vibrations of my coughing as it rattles through my chest. And then, even that fades away, until I'm floating in a breeze. 

When some of the feeling comes back I open my eyes, expecting to see the dining room. But instead, there is nothing. Just blank whiteness, and the faint feeling of air against my skin. I'm still dressed in my slacks and my white button up, but my shoes have disappeared and my shirt's been unbuttoned. There's a slight tightness in my chest, but there's no heartbeat when I put my hand against my shirt. I check again, putting my hand straight against my skin, and then I raise my fingers to where my pulse should be in my neck. There is nothing. I realize then that I've just died. 

The tears fall of their own volition, painting cold streaks of fear and regret across my cheeks. I just died in front of my closest family members. My siblings just had to watch me die, although- well, I bet my mother pulled them from the room. I fall to my knees, the clouds drifting over my legs as I cry into my hands. It gets harder to breathe and suddenly it's like I'm choking all over again. Someone snaps and it all ends. The tightness disappears and my anguish fades until it's almost nonexistent. My chin is brought upwards until I'm staring into the eyes of a boy with kind brown eyes and wavy hair of the same color. He smiles softly at me, and I almost think I can see the shimmer of wings behind him. He holds out a hand, and he pulls me to my feet when I take his hand in my own. With gentle, caring fingers, he wipes the tears away, smoothing down my hair. He hugs me after a moment, something so warm and genuine that I almost cry again. I blink away the tears as he pulls back, his hands gentle on my arms. 

"It's okay, Minho. I'm going to help you. You'll be okay," he says. I try to be gentle as I brush my fingers over the wings, and they pop into existence. The angel giggles, and the wings disappear again once I take my hands away. 

"Where am I," I whimper. I already know the answer, but I don't know what else to ask. The angel smiles sympathetically.

"You're in Heaven, Minho. My name is Seungmin, and I'll be helping you make your way through Heaven." My voice is quiet and small as I whisper, "Okay," and then, "Thank you." Seungmin nods before carefully tugging me forward, leading me along behind him. He walks until we go through a wall of clouds, and then we're in what looks like an office. The rolling chair behind the desk looks comfortable and soft. Seungmin lets go of my hand and goes around his desk, rolling the chair over to me. "I always leave it on the wrong side. It's more comfortable to stand with the wings," he says, answering my question before I can ask it. I sit in the chair and he walks back around his desk. Seungmin puts his hand out once more, palm up. I set my hand in his, and he carefully turns it over. He runs his thumb over my wrist slowly, pressing into my skin just a bit. A frown dances about his lips when he looks at a piece of paper on his right. 

"What's wrong?" He doesn't answer as I try to catch his eyes. "Seungmin?" He sighs and lets go of my hand. 

"We need to get you to trial. Come with me," he says softly. 

"Trial? What do you mean, trial?" Seungmin stops and turns around, his shoulders tense. He hesitates like he doesn't want to tell me what he's about to. 

"You've been... flagged. You might have to go to Hell, Minho." He sounds incredibly sad as he says it, faintly upset as he stares at me. I open my mouth, but he speaks again before I can ask. "It means someone in Hell wants you there. Possibly more than God wants you _here_." I stop breathing for a second, just stare at him with wide eyes. His eyes fill with tears for a moment before he blinks them away. "Come on. The sooner we go, the sooner we can get this over with." He pauses for a moment before, "For what it's worth, I hope you get to stay, Minho." And then I'm whisked away to a mocked-up courtroom. There's someone sitting in the judge's seat, although I can't make out their form at all. Seungmin bows slightly, and I can see that the name card on the desk says _GOD_ in a flowing, slanted script. Looking around, I find a jury made of, presumably, other passed souls. Seungmin sits at the table on the right, putting a piece of paper in front of himself. He taps on it before grabbing my arm again and once more running his thumb over my wrist. He lets me go as he stares at the paper in front of him. The person behind the desk, in the middle of the witnesses' stands, calls the room to order as I sit next to Seungmin. 

"Representing Lee Minho?" Any kind of clue as to what the voice had sounded like disappears the moment God stops speaking. Seungmin stands and raises his hand. 

"Kim Seungmin, Third angel of the Korean District." 

"Representing the counterclaim for the post-life possession of Lee Minho?" The double doors at the back of the room enter, and I turn to watch two figures walk through. The first has curly, platinum blond hair, though it goes slightly flatter and changes color as I watch until it's half teal, half pink. His eyes are thinly lined with black, his lids dusted with red and black. Seungmin mutters something under his breath that might be some kind of curse, except it's not one I've ever heard. It sounds too nice to be a curse word. Even though I can't see the face of the person serving as judge, I know they've just shot a look towards Seungmin for the pseudo-curse word. I notice that my shirt has changed to a deep, silky red as I catch sight of the second person. His hair stays blond, and though it's not quite so bright as the other man's was, it's still more white than gold. This person wears a heavy fur coat, a cheetah-printed button-up under the coat. His leather pants are tight, the hems bunching up around his heavy black boots. The other man is dressed more plainly in a crisp, black suit. His ears are heavy with jewelry in all colors and types, dozens of piercings lining his ears, while the other man has only a few in each ear and a few necklaces layered about his neck. He takes off his black glasses as they come to stand behind the table, revealing sharp eyes dusted lightly with peach and gold. The man with the dual-colored hair smiles, dimples appearing on his cheeks as the blond stares forward, unimpressed.

"Yang Jeongin, First fallen angel of the Central District of Hell." Seungmin mutters another curse under his breath, and the judge sends another displeased glance towards him. Jeongin sighs and crosses his arms. "Fine. First _demon_ of the Central District. Not my fault I wanted to make a good impression." Seungmin kind of gapes at that, and Jeongin rolls his eyes before nudging the other man, startling him. He'd been staring at me. The other man smiles sheepishly, running his hand over the nape of his neck. 

"Right. Bang Chan, Lord of Hell. I might be better known to, uhm, Minho as Satan." He glances at me, ears red with shame or embarrassment. Jeongin clears his throat and stares down the judge. 

"Chan and I are here to argue our claim on Lee Minho." My mouth drops open, and Seungmin closes it for me. 

"Provide evidence of a legitimate claim on this soul." God's voice booms through the room, the only thing I can remember about it being that it was loud, all-encompassing. Jeongin reaches into his heavy coat and pulls out a slip of paper, sliding it across the table. Someone pops up and grabs it, taking it to the judge. I lean forward curiously just as God sighs. Suddenly, the paper is in front of me, both men from Hell watching intently as I read over it. It's got old, faded writing on it in a messy script that's familiar to me. Seungmin lets out a choked noise as he buries his face in his hands, and I read my own handwriting. It's from forever ago, something I honestly thought I'd imagined. 

_It had been raining. I'd gone to some national park with my parents for a hiking trip, and then I'd gotten lost and it'd started raining. I cried and cried in the middle of a dark forest, shivering in the face of chilled wind and cold rain. And then, out of nowhere, a wonderful heat had appeared. Feeling miserable and desperate for warmth, I'd gone to it. It had been a tall, dark-eyed man with a stubbly beard and a kind, worried smile. He let me huddle for warmth under his coat._

_"Do you want help finding your parents?" He'd asked. I'd nodded frantically, and he smiled softly. "You're a good boy. I think you'd like my son." He paused for a moment, considering. "Would you like to meet him someday?" I sniffled, no longer feeling the rain against my skin. I was grateful for the man's big coat._

_"Is he nice?"_

_"Yes," the stranger said, sounding as fond as only a father could. "He's the sweetest boy I've ever met. He just gets lonely sometimes."_

_"How do I get to meet him?" The man held out a piece of paper and a pen._

_"If you sign this paper, then you'll get to meet him when you die. If you decide you don't want to, it'll be okay. I'll still help you find your parents." I take the paper and stare at it for a few moments, carefully reading the words. Most of them didn't make sense. I flipped it over to the back to find the messy writing of another child. I read the words out loud in a quiet voice._

_"Daddy says he's trying to find me a friend. I hope you have a good life before you die, if you decide to sign this. I hope your life is good even if you don't sign it. Either way, please have lots of fun for me. Your hopeful friend, Bang Chan." I stare for a moment longer, rereading the excited message. I flip it over and stare at the little dotted line. "You said I'll meet him when I die?" The man nods slowly, his expression just as hopeful as I imagine his son's must've been as he was writing his note. "Will I die too terribly soon?" The man looks up and away, staring into the dark forest._

_"No," he finally answers. "You will have a good life before you die. It won't be too long, nor will it be too short. You shall both have time to grow into your own people before you die." Satisfied with the answer, I wrote my name on the dotted line next to Chan's. I hesitate to give the pen and paper back, though._

_"Do you have any paper, sir? I'd like to write your son a note!"_

"I'm excited to meet you someday, Chan. Your dad said it wouldn't be too long nor too soon before I die. I'll do my best to have fun for you, like you asked in your note. I promise to come meet you when I die, cross my heart and hope to die! Please don't be too lonely while you wait for me, I promise I won't leave you alone for too awful long. I think the day we meet shall be the happiest of my life. Your excited friend, Lee Minho." My hands tremble as I set down the old note. The judge looks towards me, and I recognize only one thing of the voice as it echoes throughout the courtroom. 

God sounds expectant as a question rings out. "Will you reject the claim of Hell?" I think back to the anticipation I'd read in Chan's note all those years ago, think back to the kindness his father had shown as he helped me find my parents. They'd thanked him profusely and gathered me up in their arms, smothering me in kisses. I think back to the way he's smiled at me as he left in silence, so excited that he'd found someone who was willing to give up a place in Heaven for his son. I hadn't known at the time who he was, but I know now. I know that I talked with Satan that day. I look up from the battered note, _my_ note to Chan all those years ago, and stare into the vague, bright space that is God. I know, in that moment, that God expects me to reject it, that it is expected that a true trial will begin and that Chan and Jeongin will have to argue against Seungmin's page of my virtues and good deeds. 

"I will not." I whisper. The entire courtroom looks at me in shock. Seungmin beside me looks outraged, almost disgusted. Jeongin leans over the table and Chan trips over his chair as he stands hurriedly, both of them shocked. They'd expected me to renounce my promise just as God had. I stand, picking up the delicate sheet of crumpled paper as I do. I stare to God and settle my brows into a scowl. "I will not go back on my word and betray the kindness I was shown by the last Lord of Hell. I will not crush the hopes of a boy who has only ever wanted a true friend. I know how much Chan wished for his loneliness to end: it was such a sincere wish that his father searched the world for someone who'd give up a place in Heaven for him. I will not go back on my word now, and I condemn you for expecting any different of me." The entire room breaks into murmurs of shock and outrage. Seungmin mutters a long string of curses under his breath and this time, God does not warn him against it. Seungmin rips his paper in half twice before pushing his chair back, so harsh that the legs screech against the floor. He leaves the courtroom like a storm given human form, slamming the doors on his way out. I feel a moment of regret for letting down Seungmin, but it lasts hardly a moment. 

Chan and Jeongin are frozen at their table, eyes wide and mouths opened. I glance at them as I fold the note carefully. They do not move as I push in the chairs at my table, do not move as I walk towards them. I move Chan's chair out of the way, a steadying hand on his bicep. His suit hides the muscles of his arms, and I wonder whether he works out or not. He must. He straightens up as he stares at me, coming up an inch short. I carefully hand him the note, and he runs gentle fingers over its creases. I can imagine him doing so many times before, rereading the note over and over, excited as he waited to meet me. He hands it to Jeongin, who opens his coat to slip it back into the pocket he pulled it from. After a moment of stillness, the blond tugs on Chan's sleeve, catching his attention. Chan finally looks away from me, his jawline going sharp as his skin stretches. 

"We should probably leave," Jeongin murmurs. Chan's eyebrows furrow in confusion, and Jeongin sighs as his eyes slide to me. "Our... _your_ Minho has just denounced God. He has just become a blasphemer of the highest degree. We must not overstay our welcome, Chan. We were only allowed to come so that we could contest Heaven's claim on him, as is our right with every soul, but now that we've got him we have no guarantee of protection, especially not against all the outraged souls here. Minho rejected the one who gave them this wonderful afterlife, this peaceful paradise, and they're bound to be upset." He pauses a moment, his expression as serious as death. "We must _go_." Chan nods and looks back to me, his face solemn. His lips quirk into a little smile, one that grows the longer he looks at me. He holds out a hand for Jeongin to take and another for me. 

"Let us go, then." His smile falters slightly as he stares at me, and his eyes fill with concern. "You might want to close your eyes, Minho. This will be a bit disorienting." I bite my lip and nod, closing my eyes just before the world shifts around me. I stumble forward, latching onto the first solid thing I can find. My fingers twist in dense fur, and I press as close as I possibly can. I open my eyes when the world stops moving, and I find myself wrapped around something that is not Yang Jeongin as I'd expected. 

"Uh." I pull back, smoothing out the fur of whatever I'd grabbed. Whatever it is, it's very big. 

"Chan. He's got Jisung." I pull back further to find a canine face staring down at me, a mouth full of knife-sharp teeth and warm, kind eyes, more human than I'd expected to find on a massive dog. 

"I can see that, yes. Jisung, are you going to say hi?" The hound quirks his head to the side and lolls out a tongue before howling and abruptly disappearing in a cloud of black mist. When the mist clears, a black-haired boy with the same kind eyes as the hound is left standing in its place. He smiles widely, showing off all his teeth. They look just the same as they did in his doggish mouth. 

"I'm Jisung! I'm the bastard son of an angel and a hellhound werewolf that used to serve Satan!" Jeongin facepalms and sighs heavily. Jisung winces briefly. "Ah, right, I'm not supposed to just say that. Uhm, sorry. But, you're Minho, right? Chan and Jeongin have been-" Out of nowhere, a blur of black and white and blond with brown-black roots barrels into Jisung. When they come to rest, I see that the blur was a person, a tall boy with shoulder-length blond hair that's braided in four rows down the left side of his head. He has his hands pressed against Jisung's mouth, preventing the bastard from speaking. He turns and smiles over his shoulder, and I can see the dark, tattoo-like marks on his cheeks. Underneath his left eye is the word _Forsaken_ , written in a violent script, and underneath the right is the solid silhouette of a closed tulip. 

"I'm Hwang Hyunjin, Third fallen angel of the Central District. Do you know Seungmin, by chance?" I look to the side, finding Chan and Jeongin standing, holding hands as they look towards us. I nod hesitantly.

"He wished me to renounce the promise I made. He became angry when I would not, and he left quite angrily. He cursed the whole way out." Hyunjin's grin dims as I say it, and he sighs, letting go of Jisung and standing up. He dusts off his pants, pausing in his movements. 

"He never used to do that, you know? Of course, he must curse as an angel does, sounding still too kind even though he wishes the worst upon you." Hyunjin sighs and shakes his head. "But it's my fault. I fell, and he refused to follow. He valued his paradise too much." Hyunjin's voice goes rough and his face distorts, going some kind of dark I can't really understand. I remember Jeongin correcting himself earlier, calling himself a demon after saying he was a fallen angel. This must be the demon that had been borne on the burning wings of the angel, then. The blond shakes his head once more and reaches down to pull Jisung to his feet. "Don't speak their words for them, Jisung," the blond murmurs as he pulls him away. I wonder if Seungmin will ever fall, if he'll ever join Hyunjin and Jisung down here. I don't really think he will, though perhaps someday he'll get angrier than an angel is allowed and he'll be cast down, whether he wishes it or not. 

I turn to Chan and Jeongin once Hyunjin and Jisung have left my sight. Chan has Jeongin's hand pressed to his lips, peppering kisses across the knuckles of the slender boy's hands. The sight brings a blush to my cheeks. I walk closer as quietly as I can, clearing my throat when I'm less than a dozen paces from them. "What Jisung was saying before Hyunjin tackled him... what was he going to say?" Chan jumps, almost guiltily, before looking between Jeongin and I. 

"Ah, well... would it be creepy to admit that I've been, uhm, watching you? Even- even after Jeongin fell and we uhm..." Chan's blush starts spreading from his ears as Jeongin cackles hysterically, almost doubling over. "Well, do you mind that Jeongin and I are dating?" I smile at him.

"Not in the slightest, as long as you give me the chance to see if I'd like to join you. I think I've dreamt of you a few times, probably your father's way of trying to help me get to know you as you learned of me by watching me," I reassure him quietly. Chan smiles for the most part, though he winces near the end. 

"That, uhm. That was me, actually. In your dreams. I walked in them as often as I could, though as I got older and had to learn how to be... _Satan_ , I had less and less time. But... you're here now. I don't have to tread upon your mind any longer." Jeongin smiles, but nudges Chan all the same. Chan looks back at him, and Jeongin mouths something to his boyfriend. "Oh, right!" Chan turns back to me, apprehensive and worried. "Right, uhm, Minho. There's... a chance that you might get turned into, uhm... some kind of demonic being. You won't change, uhm, personality-wise! But... I mean, you might turn into an imp, a hellbeast of some sort, a succubus, et cetera et cetera. We will, uhm, help you, of course. Whatever happens. Are you... okay with maybe becoming something unholy? I can try to get some sort of protection against that, or I can find a different place for you to stay, or-" It's a new sort of thrill to cut off the nervous rambling of a cute boy with kisses as tender as I can make them. I'm terribly fond of him already. 

"As long as I'm here, it'll be okay," I murmur against his lips. They're soft, wonderfully so. I pull back and smile at them. Jeongin had wandered closer, close enough that when I reach out, my fingers brush against his jaw. His face is sharper than Chan's, not quite so soft. "I doubt the boy who wrote me that note would let me suffer all alone." Chan blushes even brighter, however impossible that seems. A thought dances through my mind, and I smile even bigger. With a bit of effort, I force it to a smirk. "Did you boys really contest Heaven's claim on me just because you wanted to kiss me?" Chan opens his mouth like he's going to take my question seriously. Jeongin interrupts by pressing against Chan's back and kissing me over his shoulder. It's more intense than I expected for some reason; he seems softer than his leather pants and dark glasses would suggest. Chan makes a quiet noise of delight. 

When Jeongin pulls back, he smiles this devious little thing. "How does it feel to know that you have the two most powerful demons in Hell falling all over themselves just to have you?" The crude question brings a blush to my cheeks, and I stammer out a poor response. The blond lets his smile morph into a smirk, mirroring my expression from earlier. "Look, Chan. Look at how flustered he is." Jeongin wraps his arms around Chan's shoulders, pulling the slightly shorter man close to his chest, a bit farther from me so he can get a better view. Chan opens his mouth to say something--presumably something bold, similar to Jeongin's words, based on the look he's trying to put on his face--but he's interrupted by a short man whining. 

"Chan, Felix is back! He won't stop pestering me," the man says in a nasally voice. His sleeveless black tee and jean shorts show off muscular arms and legs. He's a blond too, something that's becoming strangely familiar down here. Maybe it's part of the dress code. He too has something like tattoos on his face, a peace sign, a few stars, and the points of a compass contained within a four-pointed star that contrasts the typical five points of the other stars on his cheek. The markings are only on his right cheek, spread under his eye and over his cheekbone. As he gets closer, I realize he's got a black undercut under the longer blond hair, a similar shade to Hyunjin's blond. 

"Why are there so many blonds in Hell," I ask curiously, turning to Chan and Jeongin. The stranger stops in his tracks, suddenly red in the face. 

"Uhm, sorry, I forgot that today was- I didn't mean to, uh, intrude, and-"

"Ah, it's okay, Changbin. You get to meet Minho sooner!" Chan's smile is somewhat strained, as if he's upset he didn't get to say something suave and cool. "Minho, this is Changbin-"

"Fourth demon of the Central District of Hell," he says with a sudden grin. "But, Chan, Felix is-"

" _Someone said my name_ ," a deep, heavily-accented voice calls out in English. An enthusiastic boy drops from the sky, his wings shimmering in the reddish light. He immediately jumps onto Changbin's back, pressing his squishy cheek into Changbin's. "Ah, Binnie, why do you always run from me? Though I do like playing _chase_ with you." I squint at him, making sure the shimmer of an angel's wings isn't just a figment of my imagination. The angel looks over to me, grinning widely. "He can see that I'm an angel!" Felix blinks twice before his eyes widen. "Oh, _shit_ , it's the guy who condemned God!" 

"Is he-"

"Felix is uhm, a _very_ high-ranking angel, so he pretty much gets free-reign. And-"

"Why he uses it to curse and pester me constantly is beyond me," Changbin shouts indignantly, interrupting Chan's explanation. I can tell from the look in his eyes that he doesn't mean it. Felix can't see that, and the corners of his lips turn down a little. I step away from Chan and Jeongin, taking a few steps closer to the other pair. 

"Felix, he doesn't mean that," I say quietly. Changbin looks up at me, eyes wide. "He doesn't dislike your presence. He is only teasing, but you cannot see his eyes. Do not be discouraged." The angel stares in confusion and shock for a moment before sliding from Changbin's back. He turns the demon around and stares him straight in the face. 

"Say it again," he demands quietly. Changbin opens his mouth, but Felix interrupts. "Say it without looking away." Changbin swallows thickly, his ears and neck turning red quickly. Felix's blond hair shines like gold in the low light, something that must only apply to angels. There are scattered strands of green, random little braids here and there. He, like the demons, has a black mark on his cheek, the thin outline of a dove flying amongst the freckles scattered like sand over his left cheekbone. He spends a lot of time in the sun, I can tell. 

"I- I hate it when you use your free time to come down here and chase me about!" Despite the harsh words, Felix's smile is radiant. He gathers Changbin into a tight hug and launches them both into the sky, Changbin shrieking as he's pulled higher into the sky. 

"Is he gonna be okay," I ask quietly. Jeongin comes to stand beside me and nods, staring into the sky as Changbin continues to shriek. 

"Yeah. They likely aren't coming down any time soon either. You kind of just made today the happiest day of Felix's entire life, so." Jeongin shrugs and winds an arm around my waist, resting his head on my shoulder. "They've been pining after each other for centuries. Felix always takes him seriously, so I guess it's good you can see right through just about everyone." Jeongin is silent for a moment before speaking again. "You know, I'm curious, suddenly. Do you think Seungmin will ever join us? For context, we used to all be up in Heaven except Chan. One by one we've fallen, and now it's just Seungmin and Felix up there. The Second and Third angels of their shared District. You _did_ notice that Hyunjin said he was Third fallen angel and that Changbin said he was Fourth demon, didn't you?" I nod quietly, and Jeongin sighs. "Yeah. Well, Hyunjin and Seungmin used to be... sort of the same angel. Two sides of the same coin, you know. Never meant to touch. Hyunjin... strained that, and he fell for it, shortly after I fell. I think he saw me touch something I wasn't supposed to and wondered if he was allowed to do it as well. And then Changbin followed, easy as anything. He forgot quite a bit, but he remembered Felix. He'd been in love for far longer than I've been fallen. And then Jisung was born, and he made his way here and Hyunjin fell in love, and now they both long for Seungmin. Jisung, being part angel, can somewhat travel back and forth. Not in body, but in spirit. It's dangerous, but he does it anyways. He fell in love with Seungmin along with Hyunjin. So, I ask you: will Seungmin ever fall?" I sigh and keep my gaze on the boys in the sky. Changbin is still shrieking, but it sounds elated rather than terrified now. 

"I think... if he ever becomes angry enough that he breaks the limit of what angels are allowed, he will. If he were to meet Jisung, see how... wonderful he is, despite being something partially unholy, he might. If he were to learn how much Hyunjin regrets the way they broke off, to learn that Hyunjin still cares and holds no malice towards him... I think, if he learned that Hyunjin was blaming himself for Seungmin's changes, he might. He's sentimental enough." I pause, staring towards the shadow-shrouded ceiling. Chan is gone, maybe off to do some kind of Satanic duty as the Lord of Hell. Maybe to give us space to talk without distraction. I don't know. "If Felix were to fall..." I pause for a moment before flattening my lips into a line. "Seungmin definitely looks up to Felix. If Felix were to fall, then Seungmin would likely feel lost and betrayed. He might fall out of the sheer-"

Someone starts screaming. It echoes off the cavernous chamber that is Hell, a sound so pained that it shatters my heart into little bits. Felix and Changbin fall to the ground, Changbin taking the brunt of the impact as Felix's smoking wings fail to keep them up. Felix isn't screaming, though. He's still smiling, not a hint of pain or regret on his face. He was only waiting for Changbin, it seems. "Felix," the demon groans, wincing slightly as he starts to sit up, "You gotta tell me next time you decide to fall." Felix giggles, a terrifying contrast to the screaming. 

"There won't be a next time," the freckled blond giggles. Changbin's face morphs into disbelief and the screaming gets louder, more pained. Jeongin stares at me, worried. 

"Minho," he says faintly. I can hardly hear him over the screaming. It pierces my ears, sounding more lost than the wails I'd let out when I got lost on that trip with my parents. A tear rolls down my cheek as I stare towards the sky. Hyunjin runs in from somewhere, dragging Jisung with him. 

"I can hear him, I swear!" Jisung looks just as clueless as the other boys, but Hyunjin catches sight of me staring towards the ceiling. His eyes fix on the smoking wreck of Felix's wings and he gasps, dropping Jisung's hand to cover his mouth. He runs over to me, pulling my gaze down so I'm looking the taller boy in the face. I can see how he used to be an angel. "Minho, do you hear him? Can you hear Seungmin?!" I sniffle and nod, more tears slipping down my face. 

"He's in pain. He must've felt Felix fall, and now- he's alone. He never wanted that. He feels this is his only choice." I choke on my tears as Jisung pulls Hyunjin away, letting Jeongin crowd into my space to wipe away the tears. "He's falling because he doesn't want to be alone, but he's going to regret it," I sob. "This isn't the right reason to fall." Jeongin pulls me into a hug, rubbing a soothing hand against my back. I'd forgotten how my shirt had changed when I chose Chan until I feel the smooth slide of the red silk against my skin. Jeongin wraps his coat around me as best he can, trying to soothe me with the movement of his hand against my back. With the crumbling of rock and the crash of rubble colliding mid-air, Seungmin falls into Hell. Jisung disappears into mist again, reappearing as the giant hound just in time to fall to his side and catch Seungmin before he can hit the ground. Chan pops up, staring wide-eyed. He finds my teary eyes peeking over Jeongin's shoulders, finds Seungmin--still sobbing and screaming--amongst Jisung's fur, and his lips tremble. He jogs over to us, probably because he's as aware as I am that Seungmin would not welcome his comfort. The other demons and fallen angels, all his old friends, crowd around Jisung and place a hand upon the newly-fallen angel. He slowly quiets, and Jisung stays motionless, letting the more-boy-than-man use him as a bed. It's the least he can do for stealing away Hyunjin's affection, he thinks. 

"Chan," Jeongin whispers, so softly that it almost can't be heard over Seungmin's hiccuping cries. "I know what he is. Your father managed to find you a Seer." Chan exhales heavily, and Jeongin leaves to go to Seungmin, comforting an old friend. I watch as Jeongin carefully pulls Seungmin up, shedding his coat to wrap Seungmin in it, hiding his ruined wings from sight. Chan watches me stare, watches the things swirling about my eyes. 

"We will cut their bones away tomorrow, when the fall isn't quite so fresh. It will be less painful that way, for us to cut away the reminder. We've done it for all of them, even Jisung. His wings were... certainly the wings of a half-breed. He would never have flown, and they only caused him pain. But Jisung technically never fell, which is why he can still tread through Heaven." Chan falls silent, and when he turns my face to him, he looks on the verge of tears. "I don't know whether I should thank you for seeing too much and completing their family down here." I don't know what else to say, so I just pull him as close as I can and cry into his shoulder, still feeling Seungmin's anguish and pain. "What's one hard night in the face of forever," Chan murmurs. I press as tightly to him as I can, feeling all of him as he strokes through my hair and down my spine to comfort me. 

"I broke him, Chan," I whimper softly. "I didn't want to hurt him, Chan. I just didn't want Felix to lose hope, I didn't want him to lose his smile. I didn't mean to make him fall." This time, the anguish is my own. Chan presses soft kisses to my hair and neck, into my cheek and ear. He murmurs softly, over and over, that it wasn't my fault. I don't believe him until Seungmin stumbles over, pushes Chan away, and holds me by the shoulders so I don't have a choice but to look him in the eye. I keep crying even as he fixes me with a stern gaze. 

"You really do have a way of dragging everyone down with you, huh?" It makes me cry harder. Seungmin sighs and shushes me, covering my mouth and muffling my sobs. "Minho, I would have fallen someday. You being here only sped it up, and once I get used to... all of _this_ ," he says, gesturing to everything around us, "I'll be grateful that I'm going to have a few more centuries with everyone in the face of eternity. A few more centuries to forgive Hyunjin. A few more centuries to get to know Jisung." He lets out a broken laugh. "A few more centuries to laugh about condemning God for expecting you to sin." He uses Jeongin's sleeve to wipe my face clean. "Stop your sob-fest, Minho. I'm the one who fell." He tries for laughter again. 

"I know that," I whimper. "I can't help but feel everything. I'm trying not to, but your anguish was so strong. It ripped my heart to shreds." Seungmin looks away. 

"I cannot lie to you. I felt regret for feeling that I'd been forced to fall, but I've been angry for a long time. I realized, before Felix even fell, that God had expected you to sin and had intended to keep you in Heaven. I felt regret for being in Heaven for so long, for convincing myself that it was the right place to be because it was supposed to be holy. There is no right place. As long as my family is there, I'll be there. That's my right place." I'm not sure he and Hyunjin will ever be as a coin again, but I don't think they want to be anymore. The time apart has allowed them to grow, to change in their own ways. Seungmin limps back to Hyunjin and collapses into Jisung's fur with him, exhausted to the core. 

"Changbin," Chan calls quietly, "if you have the energy for it, help Felix find a home." Felix looks up with puffy eyes, determination seared across his face. 

"I'm not going anywhere Changbin isn't," he declares. They must've already talked about it because Changbin doesn't look surprised, nor does he object. Chan nods and turns his gaze to the trio huddled up on the floor. "Then for Seungmin-"

"We'll take care of him," Hyunjin says. Chan nods and looks back to me. Jeongin walks back over, and Chan holds our hands again. 

"I trust you all to find your way safely home. If you need assistance, call for your familiar. It's been a long day, and I think we all deserve some sleep." Everyone nods at Chan, quietly standing and shuffling along their own paths. I close my eyes and the world shifts once more. This time, Jeongin and Chan are there to catch me as I stumble. Chan picks me up and gently lowers me into a bath. "I'll help you find your familiar tomorrow. It's late," he murmurs softly. I nod and close my eyes. Chan and Jeongin help me bathe my exhausted limbs, leaving me in my boxers as they pull my soaked clothes from the water and rinse the tears from my face. It's the gentle hands in my hair that finally lull me to sleep. I wake briefly to fond kisses as I'm toweled dry in incredibly fluffy towels, my boxers still on. Half-asleep, I kick them off, surprisingly annoyed at the scratchy, damp-but-drying fabric. Both demons make a noise of surprise but continue drying me off. Before I fade back into sleep, I feel the soft pants that are raised to my waist and the softer robe that's pulled about my shoulders. I collapse into their arms as I finally, finally fall into their tender embrace. It is bliss after death.


	2. Let it all go and enjoy yourself to the full

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings in this for blood and injury

I wake up to gentle fingers petting through my hair, twisting the soft, dark locks around slender fingers. I roll closer to the hand, landing face-first in a solid chest. I breathe deeply, wrapping my arms around the tensed form. I smile lazily, enjoying the warmth. Whoever it is slowly relaxes and starts running their fingers through my hair again. I drift in a weird place between sleeping and waking. I can hear the quiet murmur of people talking around me, can feel the soft vibrations of a voice echoing through the chest my ear is pressed to. There's no heartbeat, but the soft noise of talking is enough to make me forget that. Someday, I'll be used to it. Another source of warmth suddenly gets closer, and another hand layers over the one in my hair before dropping down to stroke warm fingers along my jaw and cheekbone. After a few moments, the second hand drops down to rest on my waist, hot even through the robe. I shift a little closer, tangling my legs in the blankets. There are soft giggles dancing about my ears, and I smile again.

"Minho," someone whispers in my ear. The source of warmth is even closer now, and I slowly open my eyes. I find Chan's face right in front of me, smiling fondly. "Are you ready to wake up yet?" I shyly shake my head and burrow farther into what I assume is Jeongin's chest. Chan smiles and drops his head onto the other side of Jeongin's chest. He's so close I could almost kiss him. I slowly catch sight of more things around the room. There are shelves filled with little trinkets and old toys. A copy of my note is framed on his wall; even from this far away, I can recognize the sloppy writing. A wardrobe door hangs open slightly, revealing a row of heavy fur coats. There's a book shelf off to the side, the titles all familiar to me. It makes me giggle that Chan has read most of the same books I have, or at least _has_ them.

"Hey, Minho," Jeongin calls, slightly louder than Chan had. "The sooner you wake up, the sooner you get to kiss us." I push myself up, using my hands and Jeongin's chest to keep me propped up enough that I can see Jeongin's cocky smirk. I stare at him, considering. I purse my lips and glare a little.

"I don't think someone who tries to bribe me with kisses deserves them in the end," I say quickly. I push myself back and sit on my calves. I half-glare for a moment longer before turning to Chan and pulling him up, trying to be gentle. I freeze for a moment when I realize he's shirtless, but then I glance down and see how much of my own chest is exposed by the robe having fallen open. I shrug and pull him forward, pressing a kiss to his lips. He grins as he starts kissing back. It's a lot easier to wake up when I get to kiss cute people immediately afterwards. Jeongin just stares with dark eyes, a little smile on his face. Everything falls away as the kiss drags on, and I find that Chan's brightly-colored hair has gone curly again. It's soft as down as I run my hands through it. The bed creaks a little as Jeongin abruptly sits up, and a moment later Chan makes a little noise. He pulls away eventually, and I watch him gently prod the darkening bruise on his chest, one I _know_ wasn't there before. Jeongin doesn't do anything but wipe the spit off his lips, grinning as I glare at him. He shrugs before getting out of the bed.

"Hey, Minho. We meant to ask yesterday but it got kind of derailed. Do you wanna do anything with your hair? Or makeup? You can do pretty much whatever the hell you want down here. I wouldn't be surprised if Chan ends up convincing Seungmin to pierce his ears," Jeongin says idly as he dresses. I stare at him.

"Well, Seungmin is gonna get gauges at some point, actually, at the combined urging of Chan, Changbin, and Jisung. And also... are you gonna shower?" Jeongin snorts and shakes his head. He turns around, his shirt in the process of being buttoned. Jeongin is slender, but it's clear he works out with Chan and Changbin. He's the type of slender that could still throw me across a room.

"Minho, I'm a demon. I can just burn the grime away." As if to prove his point, he bursts into flame. It dies down a moment later, revealing Jeongin safe from harm, his clothes untouched by the flame.

"That's... a bit dramatic," I murmur. Jeongin shrugs and walks over to the closet with the coats in it. He puts a spotted coat that reminds me of a snow leopard's fur over the lacy shirt before realizing he'd forgotten pants. He chooses lace leggings and ripped jeans. He pulls open a sliding door and flicks on a light, staring at the rows of shoes. He eventually pulls on some chunky platform boots that make him taller than me, shutting off the light and closing the door as he strides out with a grin. I'm coming to realize that Jeongin is kind of a cocky little shit at all times, but it's cute on him. "Is that real fur, or..." Jeongin startles, looks at his coat, and then shakes his head with a grin.

"Nah. I made it out of synthetic stuff after watching _101 Dalmatians_. No leopards were harmed in the making of this coat, swear," he says seriously, his eyes closed and his voice solemn. He cracks an eye open and then bursts into giggles.

"How d'you know that Seungmin's gonna get gauges," Chan asks as he gets dressed. His jeans are black and ripped, his shirt loose and black. His hair goes blond and a black hat goes over the curly locks. I shrug as I pull off the robe, laying it over the footboard of the bed. I stretch as I answer.

"Nn, I dunno," I tell him, letting my arms drop to my sides. "Just, kinda do. Mm, about hair... I dunno. Brown, maybe? But like, on the darker side." They both stare, and it takes a moment to realize that the hair in my eyes looks a bit lighter. "Oh. So that's how it works." Chan smiles and nods.

"For clothes, we can go up in the mortal realm--time passes really fast up there, at least once you're down here, plus you'll look like someone else--and buy clothes, or you can wear some of our clothes. Whatever you wanna do," he tells me. After a moment, I walk to the wardrobes and think. I end up with some high-waisted slacks and a floaty, near-opaque blue blouse from Jeongin. The wide legs of the slacks swirl around my legs as I walk. Jeongin brings me shoes, modified combat boots that are now little more than straps of leather wrapping around my feet and ankles, while Chan ties a blue satin ribbon around my throat, making a pretty bow in the back. They both stand back, sighing in admiration. "Delicate," Chan murmurs.

"But elegant," Jeongin adds. Chan nods and smiles. He grabs our hands and starts leading us out the door, his grin still on his face. Jeongin pauses, a thoughtful look on his face. He turns to Chan and says, "I wonder what his marks will be." Chan only shrugs and replies, "We'll see," before pulling us along once more. Everyone else is waiting in the main courtyard of the castle when we exit the wide-open double doors. They stay open even as we pass through, and I wonder if they close at all. Chan lets go of our hands once we're in the center, and Jeongin takes over and leads me to the side. There are eight plush, black armchairs sitting in an arc. Jeongin sits in one near the end, with a chair open on either side. He carefully pulls me down into the one on his left, leaving only the one on his right open.

"Chan doesn't particularly like thrones," the blond whispers to me as some of the others begin to sit down. Changbin has to be pulled away from Felix, a little teary-eyed as he's gently sat in a chair. Hyunjin sits next to me after he and Jisung whisper some lovesick promise to Seungmin, Jisung leaving a space between them. Chan stays with the newly fallen in the center of the courtyard, breathing deeply. He's steeling himself for what comes next, I can tell. Felix's and Seungmin's wings are ruins behind them, Felix's charred to the bone and Seungmin's ratty and broken. The brunet (when did he get those blue streaks in his hair?) is in danger of impaling something on the sharp bits of exposed bone, and he winces with every movement. Felix winces too, but it's less frequent. Eventually, Chan opens his eyes and turns to us. His hair is a somber black.

"I'm-" he coughs a bit and clears his throat. "I'm not exactly sorry for the events of yesterday, but I feel terrible that they had to come with pain. I feel worse that I have to cause more pain today." Chan pauses a moment, wringing his hands together nervously. "This... won't be pretty. You're free to look away, as always." And with that, a sword materializes in his grasp. It is long and wicked sharp. He furrows his eyebrows, and it shrinks into a dagger. He turns to the men behind him. Felix is fearless, but Seungmin is trembling slightly. "You're up, Felix." Chan says it quietly enough that I can barely hear him. Felix nods and turns around, careful not to hit either man with his charred bones. Chan is careful as he grabs the remains of Felix's left wing. I shut my eyes against the sight of Felix's wings being cut away. He yelps a few times, but hardly reacts otherwise. I peek at them when the noises stop, and I find Chan handing Felix a small chick. It's covered in blood, but the way it looks at Felix... I know that this is his familiar in the moment it disappears from sight. Felix walks over to Changbin, ignoring the blood dripping down his back. The cuts aren't bleeding as much as I'd thought they would. Changbin begins to bind the wounds as Seungmin turns around.

Hyunjin and Jisung squeak and hide their eyes behind their hands, and I follow suit when I hear Seungmin's first sniffle. He's going to cry again. He doesn't progress into sobbing, just a slow stream of tears that are lapped up by the puppy Chan hands him. It, too, is covered in blood, just as Chan's hands are. It stays visible for half a moment before going invisible. Seungmin stumbles over to Hyunjin and Jisung, who bind up his wounds with tears in their eyes.

Jeongin sighs softly, resting his head on his fist. "At least there was only one pair," he murmurs softly, partially talking to me as well as the open air. Chan walks over, his face still. I can see the thoughts swirling around behind his eyes. "You know, they were near to ascending higher. I was too, once upon a very long time ago." Chan sits down in Jeongin's lap, and Jeongin lifts his head from his hand. Jeongin gently winds his fingers between mine, the other arm wrapping around Chan's waist to pull him closer as he opens his legs so that Chan drops between them. Chan reaches down and winds his left hand with Jeongin's, his right hand coming to rest on Jeongin's forearm. It's a little strange to see Jeongin not so cocky as he has been so far, but it warms my heart to see them so soft. It's a moment of undeniable warmth.

"What happened," I ask quietly. Jeongin's lips twist into a fond smile, and he presses a petal-soft kiss to the nape of Chan's neck. Chan's cheeks and ears turn a little red, and his lips quirk into a delighted smile.

"Like Hyunjin, I touched something I wasn't supposed to. But, then again, I think God was getting tired of me seducing everyone up in Heaven anyways. Not the most advisable course of action to let your top angel 'corrupt' all the others into dressing less than 'decently'. But, down here, we get to do pretty much whatever we want. The only other places to go are Tartarus and Purgatory, and Chan would never dole out so serious a sentence just for dressing a little scandalously." Jeongin only sounds bitter when talking about Heaven and God. Even with his hands occupied, I can see the implied air quotes around _corrupt_ and _decently_ , telling me enough about what he thinks of Heaven's standards to know that (even if I couldn't see and hear it) he's happier here.

Chan clears his throat and says, "Well I, for one, am _glad_ you touched me." Everyone bursts into laughter when someone shouts, "You would be!"

* * *

  
"Chan, how do we find my familiar if I haven't got any wings to cut away?" Chan blinks at me, confused.

"What... what do you mean, Minho?" I don't respond for a moment, focused on keeping my footing on the rough trail. Chan and Jeongin had decided to take me to see one of the nicer places for the dead souls.

"Felix and Seungmin's familiars," I say, gaze still focused on the trail. It's a bit hard to see in the low light. Hyunjin had said that my sight would adjust as I became more unholy over time after I complained about it before we all split off. "You pulled them out of their blood, didn't you? Or else, why were they so bloody when you handed them over?" Chan slips on a rock and scrapes his hand on the wall when he throws it out to catch himself. He and Jeongin stop in their tracks, staring with wide eyes.

Jeongin is the one that says, more than a little stunned, "You saw them?" I nod, and Chan's mouth opens, closes, opens again, closes again.

"Is that... not normal?" Chan clears his throat and straightens a bit.

"Not particularly; at least, not for a normal soul. But you... you're a seer _and_ an empath. Who knows what your normal is. But, to answer your earlier question now that you've explained the _seeing other people's familiars_ bit, we can still find your familiar. They just tend to pop out in times of extreme emotion."

"Ah... and what do they do? What are they for?" Jeongin shrugs, and Chan scratches at his nape.

"We really aren't sure, honestly. We just know they're important, and near everyone down here has one. We've come to the conclusion that they've gotta have something to do with magic, since it's illegal in Heaven and no one up there has a familiar," Chan offers, a sheepish smile on his face. We continue on, careful steps on unfamiliar ground, until the trail opens up into a field. It's full of flowers and trees, little houses and chittering animals. Everything is in greyscale, though. Nothing has any vibrant color. Chan and Jeongin take a hand each and lead me into the field. Soon, we begin to pass elderly people toiling away in gardens by their little houses. They, too, are in black and white. "This is the portion of Hell for the elderly. Of course, it excludes all the extreme criminals. The most these people have done is dabble in witchcraft, sign contracts with Hell, favor their own wellbeing a little more than that of others. Enough to lock them out of Heaven, but not enough to properly condemn them. My father told me that the original Satan had even this place set up to burn and torture these people. We have found, though, that they enjoy it more like this. They come to repent sooner, and then they go to Purgatory or Reincarnation. My father even wrote recommendations for a few of the people that were here." Chan is silent for a moment before turning to me. "This is likely where you would've ended up if you'd grown old before dying. You signed a contract with Satan himself. But, even without that, it's terribly easy to offend Heaven. We're a tougher crowd down here."

"Pansies," Jeongin mutters hatefully, staring towards the sky. I look with him and find that the ceiling is concealed by darkness still. But this darkness is the kind that comes with night. The wan light of a claw-scratch moon shines down upon the monochrome field.

"Where are the stars," I murmur quietly.

"What are stars?" I keep staring at the starless sky, my stilled heart aching.

"They're the most beautiful thing in the world. They sparkle and twinkle, like fond friends winking at you and wishing you a good night. Watching the stars at night... they helped me sleep," I tell them, soft and vulnerable in the face of the question.

"Don't be surprised," Chan whispers into my ear before someone blocks my vision. The hands are warm and dry, predictably gentle against my skin. Seconds pass by as I count slowly, mouthing the numbers rather than saying them outloud. After about a minute, some of the souls in the field begin to let out quiet gasps of awe. There is the softest rumbling on the edge of my hearing and finally, my eyes are uncovered. I open them to find that the sky has been dotted with tiny spots of brightness, shimmering like the sparkle of stars. I cover my mouth as I gasp, and more souls look up. They cheer quietly, and the few souls near us turn to thank Chan. He blushes and says, "I didn't realize how many of them loved the stars." I smile softly as I continue to stare at the sky.

"They're some of the only bright points in our world. It can be cold and cruel up there. Sometimes you get caught up in all the stress and the fighting, but there are always the stars at night. My siblings... they liked to watch them with me." I blink tears from my eyes and tear my gaze from the sky. I pull Jeongin and Chan into a hug, one that's warmer than anything. "I hope that my family makes it here if Heaven rejects them. This is a good place." I hardly register the soft brush of fur against my legs as I cry again for my siblings. This time, though, it feels like a goodbye. It feels like an acceptance.

Sometime later, when we separate and sit in the field to stare at the sky and those twinkling points of brightness once more, Chan quietly explains that they're diamonds. Then Jeongin quietly points out, "He's got three familiars, Chan," and I respond with an easy smile as I say, "Yeah. One for each of us." The cats curl up on my legs, chest, and stomach, monopolizing all the cuddling space. Chan doesn't say anything, just carefully reaches out a hand to let one of the cats sniff. Chan giggles softly when the cat accepts him, and Chan is careful as he runs his hands through the soft fur. Jeongin does the same a moment later, shy for some reason. I think they're being silly, but I don't tell them that. Their smiles as they pet the cats are plenty worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> About the "marks": most unholy spirits/beings have them. Chan doesn't cause he's like an incarnation of a concept rather than a true spirit. Most of the time they're black, but minho's are white because he's such a pure boi uwus. They're p much all based on all in, so minho's marks are the white kinda shooting star/elongated x mark lines near his eyes in the concept pictures. I'm p sure I never said that and I'm too lazy to write smth for it


	3. This is it (what I've been waiting for)

Sometime later--a long, _long_ time later--everyone sits on the end of the dock and stares over the River Styx, one of many rivers flowing through Hell. Chan had explained the situation as a sort of corporate conglomerate working together to keep the various Hells in working order. It wasn't like Heaven, where only Christians could end up. Anyone could come down here. The fires raging far off look a little like the sunset, but I no longer need to pretend to see things like that in my new home. 

"I finally figured out what you are," Seungmin says. He leans back to look around Chan and Jeongin, who sit between he and I. "What makes you so special, if you will." I lean back on one hand and quirk a brow at him. Jeongin tightens his hand around my thigh, and one of the cats hiss at him. He doesn't notice it because I don't berate him for it; the cats have slightly different opinions than I do on this sort of thing. They mostly dislike having their constants interrupted by little things like being _ever-so-slightly jostled atop my thighs by the movement of muscle as Jeongin squeezes my thigh_. 

"Do tell, good sir," Jisung shouts dramatically. Seungmin rolls his eyes, the expression somehow filled with fondness.

"You're just about the purest thing in the universe, I think. Unshakeable morals--see: "condemning God for various very valid reasons"--a tendency to see the bright side, hot-"

"Hey!" Seungmin snorts at Jisung and Hyunjin's simultaneous exclamations. Jisung pouts before leaning closer. I can't see him as he sticks his face right next to Seungmin's, but I know he's probably sticking his tongue through Seungmin's gauge as retribution. Seungmin mock-gags and pushes Jisung away before pulling him into a kiss. It quickly turns indecent, but Seungmin eventually pushes him off to Hyunjin (who is more than happy to pick up where Jisung and Seungmin had left off, Jisung still blushing and dazed) and turns back to me.

"But, yeah. You're just magnetic. I don't think there's a specific word or name for whatever demon you'd be classed as, but it doesn't particularly matter. As Chan says, 'So long as you're happy, it's okay to just be yourself.' I'd like to think that you're happy with us." Seungmin sounds a little fragile, but I quickly nod and reach my free hand out to catch his, folding my fingers over his hand and squeezing softly. Even his dark-lined eyes can't dim his grateful smile. Seungmin had let his hair grow long and unruly, a cloud of twisting, wavy hair. Hyunjin winds a hand through his hair the moment he stops talking and breaks off from Jisung to kiss Seungmin. I turn away and look back towards the river, always careful to keep my feet out of the water. Sometimes, a stray soul will reach up and caress whatever bit of skin they can reach. I wonder if the fact that none of them have ever tried to pull me in has to do with what Seungmin said. I push myself forward again and rest against Jeongin. Chan is already asleep against Jeongin's other side, and Changbin and Felix have devolved into cuddles and soft kisses. Jeongin shifts his arm around my waist and pulls me a little closer. One of the cats falls half on his leg and just lays there after huffing quietly. His other hand stays anchored around Chan's thigh, just above his knee. 

"I'm always happy here," I murmur. Chan mutters something in his sleep that sounds suspiciously like the start of a poem about Jeongin, and Jeongin only turns his head to kiss my forehead before he rests his head against mine. I don't think anything could be more perfect than this.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on twt @sunwooseok_ haha
> 
> yes, this was inspired by that one episode of according to jim


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